Negotiation can be defined as the art of discussion with the goal of finding terms of agreement. Unfortunately in our world today, many people interpret negotiation as being the skill of persuading other people to accept their point of view. When it is said of a man he is a good negotiator it usually means that he gets the best of the deal. Many have wrote about negotiation, a prime example advocates the use of intimidation to win. Such books might suggest compromising in a very fashion or letting the other person win on an insignificant point, but only as a last resort. The goal is to overpower the other people, or atleast to talk them into it as the expression goes. This seems to offer satisfaction to certain personality types. Frequently when a deal is struck to the advantage of one party and the detriment of the other, seeds of disagreement and retaliation are sown, which can have unforeseen future results. A better way to negotiate is to find out what the needs of the other person are and try to meet them without losing sight of your own goals. The art of negotiation is a valuable skill to teach members of a family, students and everyone other person. Take a simple example of family members trying to decide about evening plans. Challenge each person to suggest an idea which would, as much as possible, be something to which everyone could agree. It may not work out just as one would like everytime, but if the idea is reinforced, if people try to sensitize themselves to discern the needs and emotions of others, and if they really listen, desirable solutions can be achieved far more frequently. What may seem at first completely adversarial positions can be worked so that the opposition parties become allies in achieving a mutual goal. It’s very gratifying when you can find a solution which meets everyone’s needs.
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